Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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