So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
