Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
the raccoons are back...
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