Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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