Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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