After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
