youre lurking in front of me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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