dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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