If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
