hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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