Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
