Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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