If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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