he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
