Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm experimenting with sincerity
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
