Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
