with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
