I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
