I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this will be a night to untag.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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