so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
