people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
