Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
love makes seman taste better
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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