You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You've changed since you got that strap on
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
