We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
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At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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