every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
