but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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