i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
