every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
