My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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