you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild