this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
