My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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