good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
