tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
