marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
