I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
