On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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