where am i from again
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
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Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
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I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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