sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i permit you to call me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
