just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
