You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
