I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
