if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize