Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
