I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
