My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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