if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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