after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
