how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's shark week go big or go home
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
