he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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