hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
