elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
