Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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