now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
