I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
