Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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