Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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