my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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