i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
