In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
