last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
