Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize