omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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